February 09, 2022
3 min read
Biography/Disclosures
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Biography:
Kelly is a professor of orthopedic surgery at the University of Pennsylvania.
Disclosures: Kelly reports no relevant financial disclosures.
Just a few weeks ago, my identical twin brother, Mike, lost his nearly 5-year battle with cancer. My brother was my hero, and he faced the suffering of a terminal illness with extraordinary grit and positivity.
Though he is gone, the lessons he taught me during the course of his lifetime have indelibly impressed me. Here are just a few to share:
We are all connected
Mike truly lived the notion that humankind was all one family and what one does to another one does to oneself. He believed we all have a solemn obligation to care for the needy, regardless of the cost. In addition, he possessed great passion to defend the downtrodden, especially underserved and underrepresented groups. He was quick to quote Charles Dickens: “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”
Michael Patrick Kelly Sr.
Mike was an exceptionally successful trial lawyer who defended countless corporations and individuals whom he felt were wronged. His courtroom skills rewarded him with unusual financial success; yet he was always faithful to select charities and gave generously. Truly, mankind was his business on Earth. He chaired a renowned law firm, which performed the largest amount of pro bono work in the nation. Needless to say, the culture at work was indeed positive.
Give without expecting anything in return
Mike recognized that genuine giving is an act of love with no ulterior motive or expectation of payback. He gave anonymously to numerous causes and to individuals who were struck with misfortune. At his burial service, countless individuals approached me and informed me of how my brother helped them survive financial hardship or some personal crisis.
When one gives from the heart, love expands and both the giver and receiver enjoy a heightened sense of peace. For Mike, generous acts were between him and his God. He could care less about what others perceived of his charitable actions. To simply do right and care for the needy was his mission and he was certainly faithful to this.
Face life head on
From the moment of Mike’s diagnosis of cancer until his death, he embraced the present moment with indomitable grit and faith. Once a menacing Division I defensive tackle whose strength was legendary, his cancer slowly eroded his physical constitution. Yet, after numerous surgeries, procedures and several rounds of devastatingly toxic chemotherapeutic regimes, Mike always welcomed the next treatment with openness and resolve. Mike recognized that, to quote Robert Frost, “The best way out is always through” and our highest potentials are only unleashed when we attack challenges. He also knew if he kept the faith and confronted whatever would befall him, that in the end, his God would prevail. He simply made the most of every challenge and many will fondly recall watching him practicing golf with his “chemo pack” attached to his abdomen.
Use humor to heal
Perhaps Mike’s most powerful lesson was to use humor as a source of comfort and healing. My brother had an unusual capacity for empathy and for him, your suffering was his. He was always quick to devise an appropriate quip or joke to brighten someone’s spirits and he was a master at “reading the room,” so he could deliver just what someone needed.
Even to the very end, he would joke about his languid body in an effort to ease the suffering of his loved ones. He had nicknames for all his providers and would do impressions of his physicians. A gifted golfer, he played throughout his harsh treatments and managed to score below 80. Often, he would remark, “not bad for a 65-year-old dying of cancer!” When he would demonstrate his impressive surgical scars, he would comment that they were due to a “knife fight.”
Consummate servant leader
It has been said that grit, passion and perseverance to long-term goals are the most important determinants of success. My brother Michael possessed epic grit, tempered on the streets of his tough neighborhood of Wilmington, Delaware, as well as the boxing ring and gridiron. His iron will and character enabled him to effect “quantum goodness” in his life. His law firm, community and family were all enriched by his kindness.
Michael Patrick Kelly Sr. was the consummate servant leader, and we can all apply his life credo to our practices. When my brother passed away, the world experienced a seismic shift in positivity and love. His entire city mourned the cataclysmic loss of a true force for good.
When Mike left this Earth, John Donne’s words in For Whom the Bell Tolls resonated far and wide:
“Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.”
Mike’s life is my standard – to do right to others, to give, regardless of the consequences, to fight to the end and keep the faith. That is the recipe for true success.
Thank you, Iron Mike. Take solace in that you do live on in me and so many others.
References:
Dickens C. Narrated by Ernest Chappell. A Christmas Carol. Peter Pauper Press, 1943.
Donne J. For whom the bell tolls. Guardian (Sydney) 1872 (2019): 7.
Duckworth A. Grit: The power of passion and perseverance. Vol. 234. New York, NY: Scribner, 2016.
Van Doren M. The Permanence of Robert Frost. The American Scholar 5.2 (1936): 190-198.
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